Saturday, April 23, 2005
The Science Of Swiss Rolls*
- One full glass of milk (suggested milk - Vitamin D)
- One package of Swiss Rolls
- Carefully unwrap the Little Debbie Swiss Roll. Ensure that the white cardboard is intact and uncrumpled for upcoming employment.
- Gently stab the Swiss Roll with a fork in one end so that the fork is not perpendicular with the Roll, but is at an 180 degree angle with the Roll.
- Pick up the Swiss Roll with the fork, and bite off the opposite end. Mr. Oesch claims that this step guarantees a superior exposure to the milk.
- Completely submerge the entire Swiss Roll in the full glass of milk.
- Leave the Swiss Roll immersed for 30 seconds or until the milk stops bubbling, this step will ensure that the Swiss Roll has been completely saturated with milk.
- Take a normal size bite of Roll.
- Repeat Steps 4-7 until the Swiss Roll is completely consumed.
- Repeat Steps 2-8 until both Rolls have been entirely eaten.
- Place the soiled fork on the undamaged white cardboard.
- Drink the milk without stirring.
- Repeat Steps 11-12 until all milk is gone.
- Investigate the bottom of the glass to be sure that none of the Swiss Roll residue is still in the bottom of the glass.
- If there is no residue skip to Step 18.
- If residue is located it, recover it with the fork.
- Return the fork to the white cardboard.
- Lean back in your chair.
Matt Oesch is certain that this innovative procedure will deeply impact your existence, and is open to any questions and/or expressions of gratitude that you may have.
*Formerly known as "Hoho's".
Disclaimer: The opinions shared in this announcement may not reflect the opinions of this blog, or it's publisher.