Tuesday, April 26, 2005
FED Files - Volume 1
As many of you know, I work for the Feds, and as more of you know, Feds can be a little... odd. We blame our eccentricity on a lot of things (mostly, the bad dental plan). Looking around me, I see so many things to comment on, and so few people to tell, so I will start writing my comments on my blog when I feel inspired. Today, I'd like to say a little something about parking at the Hart-Dole-Inoyue Federal Center (from here on out, I will refer to it as the HDI Federal Center, because for you to feel like you're a part of the story, I have to use our lingo, and our "lingo" is completely comprised of acronyms). The HDI Federal Center has a total of approximately 2000 employees. Out of that 2000, 400 are contractors and do not work for the government. And then there's the 1600 Feds. This is really important to my story, because if you can imagine parking lots big enough to house 2000 employees, and imagine that 80% of those employees have flex-time, you can imagine how rare it would be to park near the same people every day. However, this couldn't possibly be any more untrue! I actually park by the exact same people every day. I park by the little 2 door gold Honda (I don't actually know that guy), and right behind my friend Chris, who drives a Toyota Carola with a Michigan State decal. And then kiddy-corner to my parking spot is a minivan that has a "W '04" bumper sticker, and next to him is the guy with the red car, on who has the empty space next to him with the light post.
You all know how much I travel. I'm gone virtually 50% of the time, yet, when I come back, it's always the same, I'm always in my exact same spot. Whether I come in at 7:30, or 8:00, or even in the case of Fridays when I'm lucky to roll in at 9:00, I still have my parking spot by the little gold Honda (I park next to him because next to his little Honda, my little Honda looks pretty darn good). That's why I know there must be assigned parking that I'm unaware of. I must have missed the memo (or deleted it) that said, "Julie, you must park 4 spaces to the left of the light post, 6 spaces back." That in mind, I'm waiting for the day I come out to my car and there's a note on my windshield that says, "YOU'RE IN MY SPOT! You're assigned to 4 spaces to the left of the light post, 6 spaces back! For Pete's sake get it right!" Or maybe they'll call on the intercom. "Julie W? Julie W. Please report to security, you car is in the wrong spot. I repeat, your car needs to be moved to 4 spaces to the left of the light post, 6 spaces back!"
So in conclusion, the HDI Federal Center either has assigned parking or we are all creatures of habit. Either way it's a little disturbing. Maybe tomorrow I'll shake things up and park in a different stop. But then I wouldn't be next to the little gold Honda that makes my Honda look good. And I wouldn't walk in with my friend, Chris, and hear about his latest scheme of starting a radio station that only announces good news. So sign me up for a parking spot or call me crazy, but I declare that I am 3 to the right, 2 back (put that on your name tag, talk about a handle)!