Officially Technological

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

FED Files - Volume V

Hellos and Good-byes

In our sub-agency (DRMS), there are currently 7 interns. Two months ago there were 8 of us, but Melissa, the girl from Puerto Rico, quit to return to her previous employer. Out of the seven who are left there are 3 contracting interns (Dan, Aaron B, and Sarah), 2 Property Disposal interns (Casey and John), and 2 environmental interns (Lawrence and myself).

It has recently come to management's attention that Aaron B has lied and cheated on his time (which, from what I can tell, is the only reason a Federal employee can be fired). He skipped class last Monday to blow off the day with his girlfriend in Traverse City and didn't call in to inform anyone of his absence. He figured that the people in class would assume he was at his work-station, and that the people in the office would think he was in class, and that he would be safe for the day. Unfortunately for him, the instructor told him on Tuesday that he had already missed too much of the course and would have to have his boss reschedule it, and so his little scheme unraveled.

He now claims that his car was in "the shop" and that he informed the instructor that he would be unable to attend class in the morning, but a call to his mechanic and to the instructor would obviously clear up these obvious alibis.

Tomorrow, our "boss" (we all have three bosses) from Columbus, and her boss will be making the four hour drive to Michigan to have "a meeting" with Aaron B. Apparently you don't want your boss to make a special trip to Michigan for "a meeting", because "meetings" like this usually result with the offender (Aaron B) walking to his car on the arm in arm with a security guard.

Today, most likely, will be Aaron B's last lunch at the Battle Creek Federal Center, the last time he'll be able to work-out in the gym, and the last day he'll get to live off of tax-payer dollars. Aaron B - Fired.

Much like the monkeys jumping on the bed, there will soon be 6 of us interns here at DRMS. Who will be the next to fall off and "break his head"?

Which brings me to my transfer. I have to turn in a list of five places where I would willingly be transferred by December 1st for a move as early as March 1st. Has anyone signed themselves up for a transfer before? It seems like an easy decision, but I can assure you that it is not. I feel like I'm both the designer of my own fate, and at the same time... completely out-of-control. Thank goodness I have until December to choose. For kicks, I'll post some of my the places on my list.

Not necessarily in that order.

So, it is likely that tomorrow it will be farewell to Aaron B, and next year it is likely that it will be hello to California!

posted by Julie at 11:51 AM


California's not that far away from here. That sounds good to me. :) And even though Tuscon is closer, I don't think I would wish that on anyone. Not that I've been there, but if you can't live right in the same city as me, I would hate to think you'd live in a place as hot and still far away. It was 114 degrees according to my thermometer yesterday. Dad says I'm reading it wrong. :D

22/6/05 13:37  

Well, it's nice to hear 6 of the 8 monkeys are still around. We had 12 monkeys in our recruiting class. Two left for law school, three were "strongly encouraged" jump, and three were blantantly pushed off by Senior Management. Lucky for them, their necks broke the fall.

As far as transferring... I originally chose a spot on the East Coast. It is gorgeous there, however, I am a little biased towards C-bus.

Go Bucks!

22/6/05 14:01  

Having lived in Columbus for close to five years I would have to say that in my opinion, I'm indifferent about Columbus. Hope this helps.

22/6/05 14:02  

For the LOVE OF ALL THAT'S GOOD, Go to San Diego. That city absolutely ROCKS, and the weather is GORGEOUS!

22/6/05 14:35  

Well, to tell you the truth, the whole thing sounds like a season of Survivor to me. However...all of that aside Why in the WORLD isn't FORT RILEY on your list!?!?!

pshhh. Now I know where I rank.


22/6/05 15:40  

Look. I'll be completely openly and unashamedly selfish. Move to Chicago or DC since those are possibly going to be close to where I will be!!

I agree with brooke it does sound like survior. I think you should vote yourself off for being so stinky to Aaron. Poor Aaron I'm sure he doesn't want the whole world to know about his "meeting."

22/6/05 16:55  

I'm with Brooke--why isn't Ft Riley on that list?????

Guess we rank real high, huh?
errr...maybe I'll keep my mouth shut til I make it up to Detroit. Yeah, that's probably a good idea. :)

22/6/05 18:06  

well as you know Ohio ROCKS! Ha! So I'm all for Columbus then we could you know, go to things with people up in front, doing you know what, and falling in love with them! Wait.....I can hardly wait.....

22/6/05 18:28  

Aaron - the only reason there isn't less of us is that it's next to impossible to get fired in the gov't. Trust me, in real life there would be less of us. :)

Luke - I'm well aware. Me and my friend, Diane, are actually campaining to get a pack to move to California so that none of us are out there twiddling our thumbs.

Brooke and Dona - I'd like to point out that both of you ladies will most likely graduate shortly after my transfer (within a year). So, unless you start talking grad school at K-State....

Beth (Ohio Beth) - *sniff* That was beautiful.

Beth (Pheonix Beth) - Need I remind you that it's a DRY heat?? ;)

"Richard Simmons" - Hey Doug.

23/6/05 08:23  

Richard Simmons is awesome. Anybody who would slap a UFC fighter in the face at a fitness convention is cool. Granted, he's lucky he's not dead, but still.

Sweatin' to the Oldies

23/6/05 10:48  

I have been reading the archives while printing out page after page or reports...anyway.....Puns. You hate them. I actually kinda enjoy puns. A pun is almost always guaranteed to be stupid. But I think the art in using a pun is not really the end effect. It's more the wit and skill involved. It's kind of like the music of Cage and Schoenberg. I don't know anybody who actually likes to sit down and listen to it because it sounds good. A lot of people do however find the theory behind the music to be the real attraction. Or maybe I'm just trying to justify puns because I use them all the time.

23/6/05 14:38  

Oh great. Thanks a lot, Doug, now you're going to get Josh started. :)

23/6/05 14:40  

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