Wednesday, October 05, 2005
FED Files - Volume XII
The following forward has spread through our office this morning. Below the forward are some of the questions that my sweet co-workers asked after this went through.
Tomorrow is the official Slap Your Irritating Co-workers Holiday: Do you have a co-worker who talks nonstop about nothing, working your last nerve with tedious and boring details that you don't care about? Do you have a co-worker who ALWAYS screws up stuff creating MORE work for you? Do you have a co-worker who is SOOO obnoxious, when he/she enters a room, everyone else clears it?
Well, on behalf of Ike Turner, I am so very very glad to officially announce tomorrow as SLAP YOUR IRRITATING CO-WORKER DAY! There are the rules you must follow:
- You can only slap one person per hour - no more.
- You can slap the same person again if they irritate you again in the same day.
- You are allowed to hold someone down as other co-workers take their turns slapping the irritant.
- No weapons are allowed...other than going upside somebody's head with a stapler or a hole-puncher.
- If questioned by a supervisor [or police, if the supervisor is the irritant], you are allowed to LIE, LIE, LIE!
And here's some questions from our Feds:
- Should I alphabetize my list for efficiency?
- Could we create a position for this job? Because it would easily be a full-time occupation.
- Is there a Federal Government way of doing this whereby we can drag it out?
- If you can only slap one person per hour, are you allowed to hold down more than one person per hour so that other people can hit them?
- Is this a national holiday? Do I get holiday leave?....