Officially Technological

When I worked at Brown Mackie (which seems like ages ago now, but was really less than a month ago), I always checked my email and did stuff in the teacher's lounge. It was a little noisy, and the printer was a little slowish, but my half cube didn't even have a printer networked to it. So, I sat in the teacher's lounge every day about the same time that the librarian took his afternoon break - which he too spent in the lounge. The problem with the librarian (besides the inexplicable creepiness he exuded) was that he ate carrots. Not clean, packaged carrots, cut into baby carrots. Oh no, he ate carrots. As in, the whole carrot. The whole - just pulled from the garden - carrot. He ate these carrots much like Bugs Bunny (when he was actually eating them - not mowing them). He kinda munched on them. Loudly. Cleaned his teeth with a slurp. Munch. Munch. Munch. Slurp. This wasn't really that noticable when the teacher's lounge was full, but on the occasion when it was just me and the carrot guy, the munching and consequent slurping seemed to be the only sound in the world.

I had forgotten about the librarian's carrot habit. Until today, when I pulled out my baby carrots (cleaned and packaged) for lunch. At the time, no one in the office had a radio playing nor was anyone talking on the phone, and everytime I ate a carrot and heard myself munch, munch, munch, slurp, I wanted to crawl under my desk. So, I tried to chew really slowly, but then, it just prolonged the agony and sounded more like moooo-uuuuunch, moooo-uuuuunch, moooo-uuuuunch, slurp. That didn't work. So, then I tried to chew really fast and just get it over with. But then it sound like MunchMunchMunchMunchMunch, slurp. That wasn't very useful either, so I tried to shorten the slurp. Which sounded like Munch, Munch Munch slurp. Which didn't leave my teeth very clean. Slurp. Slurp. So, now I have the notion that I must be becoming the carrot girl of Transformations. No matter how you eat a carrot, it's going to be obnoxious. There's just no getting around it. So, next time I pack my lunch I will include quiet veggies (not sure what a "quiet" veggie is - probably something like cooked peas). Maybe cucumbers. But celery's out. Broccoli’s gross. Cauliflower is crunchy too... What a quandary.