Tuesday, May 23, 2006
I Suppose I'm Stressed
- Craving Carbs (I've been eating bread like a banchi)
- Being completely exhausted by 10 (like right now, I can barely keep my eyes open)
- Anxiety dreams
- Falling asleep every time I lay down (even sometimes when I'm not laying down)
I'm feeling a little wimpy right now because there's a couple that goes to our church whose baby just died of SIDS. These people are social workers, and work with troubled teenagers, so it's not like they have an easy 9 to 5 to go to and sleep in their cubes until they get over it. Anyway, they have so much going on in their lives right now. They still have two little boys, and they have an extremely stressful job, and they have to mourn the loss of their baby. And what do I have really? Comparitively speaking? I have happy stress. I have stress where you get something happy at the end. Yeah, wedding woes.... blah, blah, blah. But I'm getting married. And I get to go to Maine for a week and eat lobster. Yeah, I'm techinically living in three different spots (in two states) right now.... blah, blah, blah. But I get to live in one spot with someone I like for the next 75 years. Yeah, I just started a new job.... blah, blah, blah. But it's the first job I've actually enjoyed and could see myself doing for a while. So, I'm whining about being stressed out and overwhelmed, and it's true, I am overwhelmed and stressed out, but while I'm overwhelmed and stressed out with planning the details of a life I can't wait to live, some people are overwhelmed and stressed out planning the details of a life they would have never chosen.
I know what that feels like, I've been there. I've been in the spot where you plan around something that you dread but can't avoid, and it's not any fun (though nothing even half as sad as lossing a child). So, I guess what I'm saying, in my self-directed lecture (better known as a rant) is that I should probably just get over it. I should probably just plan an extra hour to sleep, and keep moving and just enjoy it, because even though it sucks (I'm so tired of worrying about how the lemonade is going to get mixed at the reception I could puke) right now, I know that it is all just stuff that's going to get done so that I can enjoy being married. So, that's that, and with that being said, if I'm going to be getting an extra hour of sleep tonight, I really need to get started on that.